Hi Reader,
I stepped onto the trail with anticipation. The retreat center had promised a peaceful self-guided hike through the North Carolina woods. At first, the path was clear – well-marked with signposts, quotes on wooden plaques, and occasional benches inviting reflection.
Then everything changed.
The path began to disappear. The markers vanished. The fallen leaves grew deeper, obscuring whatever trail might have existed. I could see my destination in the distance – the retreat center building glowing warmly through the trees – but the way forward had become uncertain.
As someone with a deep fear of snakes (particularly the copperheads that love to hide in North Carolina leaf piles), I felt paralyzed. Despite being so close to where I needed to go, I stood frozen, then carefully retreated the way I'd come.
This is exactly what happens in our communities when onboarding fails.
New members join full of enthusiasm. They can see the destination – the transformation, the connections, the growth they hope to experience. But without clear pathways, they freeze. And then, more often than not, they leave.
The Community Pathway Problem
When I audit communities, I see the same patterns emerge again and again. A brilliant founder creates a space with immense potential. Members arrive excited. But somewhere between arrival and belonging, the connection drops.
It's not for lack of content. Most communities have plenty. It's not for lack of features – platforms offer more tools than most of us will ever use.
What's missing is the bridge – the thoughtful journey that transforms an outsider into an insider.
In my years working with community leaders, I've developed a framework that addresses this critical gap. I call it the HELLO framework, and it transforms how members experience your community from day one.
The HELLO Framework
H – Hospitality
Imagine inviting someone to your home for dinner. You wouldn't open the door and immediately give them a tour of your attic or explain all your house rules. You'd welcome them, help them get a drink, and introduce them to other guests.
Yet in communities, we often do the digital equivalent of an attic tour – overwhelming new members with rules, features, guidelines, and content libraries before they've even felt welcome.
True hospitality means:
- Welcoming members personally
- Orienting them to just what they need right now
- Connecting them with others who share their interests
Here's what this looks like in practice: When a recent member joined The Hive, I noticed in her introduction that she loved dogs and beaches. Rather than just welcoming her myself, I specifically tagged several members who shared these interests - someone who lives near the beach, another who frequently shares stories about his dog, and another member who runs a community in a similar field. This simple gesture took seconds but created multiple potential connection points, helping her immediately start finding friends.
E – Everyday
Onboarding isn't a one-time event; it's an everyday activity. Your members need to know two things every time they show up:
- They're in the right place (they belong here)
- What their next right action is
Think of the trail I described earlier. When the signposts disappeared, I lost momentum and confidence. Your members need ongoing guidance – not because they aren't capable, but because your community isn't their full-time job.
In our community, we have a clear weekly signpost – our Monday morning "Greet the Week" post. It's visually distinct (the only dark blue element in an otherwise light-colored space), making it easy for returning members to find their bearings and discover what's happening.
L – Little by Little
Restaurants don't serve your appetizer, main course, and dessert all at once. Neither should you serve all your community information in one fell swoop.
Pace your information like courses in a meal. Start with what members need immediately, then introduce more as they're ready.
This might look like:
- Day 1: Welcome and basic orientation
- Day 3: Introduction to one key community activity
- Day 7: Invitation to an upcoming event
- Day 14: Deeper resources relevant to their interests
When members can digest information in manageable bites, they're more likely to take action instead of feeling overwhelmed.
L – Listen and Learn
Make your onboarding experience a dialogue, not a one-way firehose of information. Intentionally include opportunities to hear from your newest members and get to know more about them. And, be sure to collect their feedback so that you can adjust as you go. It can feel tempting to “set it and forget it,” but healthy communities are always evolving and your onboarding needs to keep up.
One community I worked with had meticulously created video tutorials for their onboarding. When engagement remained low, they discovered through member conversations that many of their ideal members (high-level executives) preferred written guides they could quickly skim, not videos they had to watch.
Remember, too, that your members have different learning styles. Some prefer video, others text. Some want comprehensive information, others just the highlights. Providing the same information in multiple formats honors these differences.
O – One-off Experiences
The personal touches you bring to your community often make the biggest difference. These small gestures can't be automated or outsourced without losing the very essence of what makes community feel like home.
In her beautiful essay "What Community Means to Me," Neela Singh shared a story about growing up in Trinidad. As a six-year-old child, she helped her grandmother deliver homemade sweets throughout their village. Hot and tired, young Neela asked why they couldn't just hire delivery boys on bicycles. Her grandmother's response was unforgettable:
"You think community happens through someone else's legs?"
Her grandmother wisely knew this wasn't just about sharing treats. The food was just the excuse—the real gift was showing up.
This insight applies perfectly to community building today. While automation and workflows have their place, the magic happens in the personalized interactions that can't be scaled.
When we prioritize efficiency above all else, we risk eroding the very connection we're trying to create.
I often advise community builders to streamline and automate certain processes specifically to free up time for these human-to-human moments that truly matter. Create margin. Then, when you feel that nudge to reach out to a specific member – do it. When you notice someone's been quiet – check in.
No one's expecting grand gestures. It could be as simple as remembering that a member has an upcoming presentation and sending a "thinking of you today!" message that morning. That 30-second action immediately communicates that you care. And, your thoughtfulness will create ripples of kindness throughout your community.
💰 Onboarding Matters to Your Bottom Line
Great onboarding isn't just about being nice—it directly impacts your business:
- First impressions determine long-term engagement: Members who feel welcomed and oriented from day one are much more likely to remain active
- Reducing early confusion prevents churn: Clear pathways and expectations help members find value faster, keeping them around longer
- Connected members are more invested: People who feel they belong invest more deeply in the community—and in sharing it with others.
Most community onboarding fails for three key reasons:
- It's treated as a technical process, not an emotional journey
- It overwhelms rather than orients
- It’s created once, then left untouched
The good news? Each of these challenges can be addressed with intentional adjustments to your approach.
Here are five questions to guide your reflection:
- Does your welcome make members feel like valued guests or just another number?
- Can returning members easily find their bearings if they've been away?
- Is your information paced appropriately, or are you serving the entire meal at once?
- Have you created opportunities for two-way conversations with your newest members?
- Where might personal touches replace or enhance your automated systems?
If you'd like personalized guidance on your specific community challenges, book a one-time Community Strategy Session and we'll tackle your onboarding questions together.
The Trail Ahead
Community building is more than just opening the door to a digital space – it's about creating pathways. When members can clearly see the trail ahead, they move forward with confidence.
They don't get stuck in the proverbial leaves, paralyzed by uncertainty. They don't retreat the way they came. They journey forward, together.
And isn't that the whole point of community?
✨ The communities that last aren't the ones with the best content or the fanciest features – they're the ones where the path to belonging is clear, inviting, and personal. ✨
What's one small shift you could make to your onboarding process this week? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
To pathways that lead us home,
Laura
PS. Ready to build a clear path for your members and create the vibrant community you've envisioned? The Spring Community Foundations cohort begins April 15th, with doors opening this week! 🌱
